The 2024 presidential election is over, and late-night hosts are right here to type by the aftermath.
After former President Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris to grow to be the forty seventh president of the USA, the comedians tried to consolation viewers on their reveals Wednesday night time whereas sharing disappointment within the Republican nominee’s victory. Additionally they confused their dedication to persevering with to offer laughter throughout what they characterised as a bleak time for America.
Jimmy Kimmel, who has often traded barbs with Trump on social media, opened his present with a sketch the place he’s seen frantically packing in his workplace.
“I am leaving the nation,” he broadcasts. “I am unable to keep for an additional 4 years of this. Who is aware of what he will do? … He mentioned he has an inventory of enemies. You suppose I am not on that listing?”
After his sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, satisfied him to remain within the section (earlier than declaring he is leaving to go “again to Mexico”), Kimmel started his monologue by joking about the truth that Trump received the election after falsely claiming he misplaced in 2020 because of widespread voter fraud.
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“I assume this election wasn’t rigged,” he mentioned. “That is bizarre although, proper? I imply, he mentioned it could be rigged. He mentioned it was being rigged whereas folks had been in line voting! Is not it exceptional that this time, the repair wasn’t in? Final time, the Democrats cheated. This time, we selected to not, I assume.”
Evaluating Trump to Emperor Palpatine from the “Star Wars” collection, who returned from obvious demise in “The Rise of Skywalker,” the comic quipped, “Donald Trump is just like the emperor from ‘Star Wars.’ He is outdated, he is evil and he retains coming again with no cheap rationalization in anyway.”
Kimmel informed viewers his “children had been very upset” by Trump’s win, and he acquired choked up whereas describing Tuesday as a “horrible night time.”
“It was a horrible night time for ladies, for kids, for the a whole lot of 1000’s of hardworking immigrants who make this nation go, for well being care, for our local weather, for science, for journalism, for justice, free of charge speech,” he mentioned. “It was a horrible night time for poor folks, for the center class, for seniors who depend on Social Safety, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO, for the reality and democracy and decency.”
“It was a horrible night time for everybody who voted towards him, and guess what? It was a foul night time for everybody who voted for him, too. You simply do not realize it but.”
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However Kimmel took consolation in the truth that “we have been by this as soon as earlier than” throughout Trump’s first time period. “And sure, this time it’s in all probability going to be worse, perhaps loads worse. However I additionally suppose that perhaps we are going to look again and notice that, in the long term, that is what we wanted to wake us up. Perhaps the individuals who care a lot about him must learn how little he cares about them.”
He additionally joked about the concept that Trump will imprison him and his fellow late-night hosts after taking workplace. “My solely request to President-elect Trump is that he let me share a jail cell with Taylor Swift.”
Stephen Colbert: ‘It is actually exhausting to see a shiny aspect right here’
Over on CBS, Stephen Colbert opened “The Late Present” with a severe message delivered to the digital camera from behind his desk. “Should you watch this present usually, I am guessing you are not doing nice,” the comedian mentioned earlier than explaining he is grateful to be internet hosting the present as a result of “at occasions like this, what can we most need to be? Not alone.”
In his monologue, Colbert mentioned the “deep shock and sense of loss is big” after Trump’s win and concluded the president-elect’s supporters “do not care that a lot about democracy.”
“Who is aware of what the subsequent 4 years are going to be like?” he mentioned. “What we do know is that we’re going to be ruled by a monstrous little one surrounded by cowards and grifters, and my mind retains pumping out a vast provide of ramifications. It is actually exhausting to see a shiny aspect right here.”
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“That is tough,” he went on to say. “Final time Trump received, it felt like a grotesque fluke. This time, America knew precisely what they had been getting, they usually went exhausting for him anyway.”
Like Kimmel, the “Late Present” host did discover a shiny aspect: the truth that “we all know what’s coming” in a second Trump time period as a result of he has already been president.
“It is like the primary time you attend your kid’s spring live performance, nobody might presumably put together you for 25 second graders taking part in the recorder,” he joked. “However your subsequent child, you are prepared. You packed earplugs. No quantity of ‘Frère Jacques’ might break you.”
Colbert concluded by jokingly asking, “Can we simply inform Jimmy Carter that she received?” The thirty ninth president voted for Harris at age 100 after telling his household he needed to dwell lengthy sufficient to take action.
“After which can Jimmy Carter inform me that she received?” he added.
Seth Meyers: ‘The struggle for justice would not finish with one election’
Seth Meyers kicked off “Late Night time” by sarcastically appearing like the truth that he voted for Harris can be a stunning revelation.
“I do not suppose Donald Trump’s particular person,” he mentioned. “I might even go as far as to say he is a foul particular person. Now, in my protection, I am solely basing that on every thing I’ve ever been taught about what makes somebody good or unhealthy.”
“However that is one thing I settle for: Half the nation thinks he is particular person, or they do not care that he isn’t as a result of they suppose he is president,” he continued. “And due to that, he will be our president once more. That is how democracy works in America, a rustic that could be a privilege to dwell in, even on a morning like as we speak.”
Throughout a “Nearer Look” section, Meyers described Trump’s first time period as a “nightmare that plunged the nation into nonstop catastrophe and triggered mass struggling for tens of millions of Individuals” and cracked that to get by his second time period, “they are going to have to present me no matter medicine they’re giving Trump.”
“We’re about to step over the precipice into actually uncharted territory,” he added. “You want solely look again to Trump’s first time period to get a way of how harmful his second time period shall be, and nobody can say they did not know what they had been getting, as a result of Trump made it crystal clear. All I do know is that the struggle for justice would not finish with one election.”
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Jimmy Fallon: ‘America determined to get again with a loopy ex’
On “The Tonight Present,” Jimmy Fallon proclaimed that by re-electing Trump, “America determined to get again with a loopy ex” and quipped, “Regardless of who you voted for, I believe all Individuals can agree, it’ll be a tough Thanksgiving.”
“It was a giant night time for Donald Trump and a much bigger night time for Don Julio,” he mentioned, referencing the tequila model. “51% of the nation is basically comfortable, 47% are actually hungover, and (Rudy Giuliani) is each.”
Kimmel, Colbert and Fallon all referenced the truth that Google searches for “did Joe Biden drop out” spiked on Election Day — and all three had the identical punchline. “Most of these searches had been from Joe Biden,” mentioned Fallon.
Making time for some leisure information, the “Tonight Present” host famous that Netflix on Wednesday confirmed the ultimate season of “Stranger Issues” will arrive in 2025, a narrative the comic rapidly turned again to the election. “After final night time,” he mentioned, “how a lot stranger can issues actually get?”